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Epic Fumbles

4 cases on file

This is where Sonny keeps the heavy files. The ones that need two hands and a drink.

Epic Fumbles is the main collection — the cases too big for a wire, too expensive for a footnote, and too satisfying to summarize in a tweet. These are the stories where a handshake replaced a contract and cost someone $700 million. Where a woman faked a voice, a machine, and a $9 billion company — and her boyfriend faked the code. Where a 25-year-old predicted the AI boom in a 165-page essay and then lost 67% of his fund during his own wedding week.

Every entry in this collection has one thing in common: the fumble was avoidable, the money was real, and nobody learned anything until it was too late. Some of these people are in prison. Some are still billionaires. One of them is both. The universe is not consistent, but Sonny’s filing system is.

New cases filed on Tuesdays. Assuming Sonny’s not at the bar.

001

He Sued His Best Friend for $400M — And Lost

A handshake, $400M, zero paperwork — and a friend who bought an $80M house right after. Sonny's got the receipts and the verdict.

🤡 Epic Fumbles

004

She Faked a Voice, a Machine & $9B — Elizabeth Holmes

Objection, Your Honor: $700M raised, $9B peak, one drop of blood that never worked — and a fake baritone she dropped after wine.

🤡 Epic Fumbles · 🐊 10/10

009

Predicted the AI Boom, Lost 67% at His Wedding

He called the AI boom, built a $45B fund, then lost 67% in 31 days — the same week he got married. Named it Situational Awareness.