No wires in this series yet.
🙏 Commutation petition filed Jan 2026, still pending · Sentence cut 135 → 123 months (Mar 26, 2026) · Teaching French at FPC Bryan, Texas · Release: Dec 30, 2031 · Restitution still owed: $452 million
Elizabeth Holmes asked Donald Trump to commute her sentence. From a Texas prison. Where she teaches French. And works on "criminal justice reform." 🙏 Let Sonny line these…
Read more →🐷 Game Pass Ultimate $22.99/mo · Cloud gaming capped at 15 hrs/month from November · Premium 10 hrs · Essential 5 hrs · Overage pricing not yet announced · Microsoft says it affects 4% of subscribers
Microsoft promised the Netflix of gaming. Unlimited games, flat fee, play anywhere. That was $14.99 in 2020, when cloud streaming arrived in Game Pass Ultimate at no extra…
Read more →💰 $16.68B settlement · 29 states · No admission of wrongdoing · Meta's own worst-case verdict estimate: $1.4 trillion · Stock: +4% premarket, gains didn't hold
Meta agreed to pay $16.68 billion to settle claims from 29 states that it designed Instagram and Facebook to be addictive to kids. No admission of wrongdoing —…
Read more →💔 Stock -31%, worst single session on record · Core comps +4.9% · Foot Locker (bought for $2.4B) comps -3.6% · Foot Locker outlook flipped from +$110-150M profit to -$40-80M loss · Market cap lost $4.92B
On Tuesday, DICK'S Sporting Goods dropped 31% — its worst single session on record — after cutting full-year guidance. The core DICK'S business grew comparable sales 4.9%, helped…
Read more →⚰️ Death Watch #001 · Sleep Number: Chapter 11, Travis Kelce owns 5% · Bed Bath & Beyond: dead company, living brand · Rite Aid: confirmed dead
⚰️ DEATH WATCH — AUGUST 2026 First edition. Every month, Sonny checks the pulse. 🔴 CRITICAL Sleep Number — Chapter 11, June 12, 2026, $672 million in debt,…
Read more →🎭 $400M DOJ settlement · COPPA violations · $300M now + $100M conditional · Predecessor Musical.ly had a prior consent decree on the same issue
On Friday, TikTok and ByteDance agreed to pay $400 million to settle a Department of Justice lawsuit alleging violations of COPPA — the law protecting children under 13…
Read more →🐷 $80B shareholder return — largest in South Korean history · Stock fell as much as 2.6% same day · Some investors had hoped for up to 150 trillion won
On Friday, Samsung Electronics announced a shareholder return program of up to $80 billion — the largest ever by a Korean company. Stock fell as much as 2.6%.…
Read more →📊 Revenue -7% to $129.5M · EBITDA margin 10.2% → 11.8% via cost cuts · Stock -22% to a fresh 52-week low
On Friday, Enero Group reported FY26 results. The coverage headline: "margins expand despite revenue pressure." Translation from spin to arithmetic: revenue fell 7%, from $138.7 million to $129.5…
Read more →🏛️ SEC fraud charges vs former CEO, CFO + finance director · $1.9B raised via asset-backed securities · Same collateral pledged multiple times · Company collapsed Sept 2025
On Tuesday, the SEC filed fraud charges against Daniel Chu, Jerome Kollar, and Ameryn Seibold — former CEO, CFO, and senior director of finance at Tricolor Holdings, the…
Read more →🎪 Beat every Q2 estimate · Guidance cut $4.34B → $4.08-4.16B · Stock -22% · CFO + CMO departing 2027 · Fired 700 for AI in 2024 · Down 45% YTD
On Tuesday, Klarna — the "Buy Now, Pay Later" fintech that fired 700 employees and replaced them with an AI chatbot in 2024 — cut its full-year guidance…
Read more →🤡 Fired 900 on Zoom before Christmas 2021 · Ousted Aug 3 by board member he invited 1 week earlier · $8B → $300M (96% collapse) · Now offering to return for $1/year
Two weeks ago, Vishal Garg — the CEO of Better Home & Finance who fired 900 employees on a three-minute Zoom call six days before Christmas 2021 —…
Read more →🎭 2 years of SEC filings restated · 'Materially misstated' · Stock -13% in one session · $77M in corrections · Internal controls ineffective
Hub Group — the ~$2.7 billion freight and logistics company — told the SEC that its 2023 and 2024 annual reports were "materially misstated" and could no longer…
Read more →🎭 $18.8M settlement · Mass-texted the Do Not Call Registry · 6,695 stores · ~$71B market cap · TCPA violation
On Thursday, O'Reilly Automotive — the ~$71 billion auto parts empire, 6,695 stores, proud purveyor of brake pads to America — agreed to pay $18.8 million because someone…
Read more →🤡 $450.5M GAAP loss (was $309.5M profit YoY) · -$2.98 EPS vs -$0.17 expected · Revenue missed 7% · Stock -14% · CEO: 'outstanding quarter' · P/S ratio 291.5x
On Wednesday, Cerebras Systems — the AI chip startup that IPO'd in May with the confidence of a man bringing a sword to a knife fight — reported…
Read more →🐷 $626M loss (2x YoY) · $640M interest expense (2x YoY) · $9.4B CapEx one quarter · $13.5B new debt · Current ratio 0.31 · Stock +15%
On Tuesday, August 11, CoreWeave reported Q2 2026 earnings. Revenue: $2.58 billion, up 112% year over year. Net loss: $626 million, up from $290 million a year earlier.…
Read more →🍑 $942M total NM child safety judgment · 3,000+ addiction lawsuits cleared · 'Public nuisance' court finding · 6,500-word CEO manifesto
On Tuesday, August 11, the Ninth Circuit rejected Meta's appeal in the consolidated social media addiction case. Result: Meta, ByteDance, Google, and Snap must face over 3,000 individual…
Read more →🍑 Watch hours: 4,000 → 8,000 · Shorts views: 10M → 20M / 90 days · Existing partners grandfathered · $100B paid 2021-2025
On Monday, August 11, YouTube announced new monetization thresholds. Starting February 2027, new creators joining the YouTube Partner Program will need 8,000 watch hours over 12 months —…
Read more →💉 $0.31/hour reentry clerk wage · $4.5B peak net worth (2015) · 99.99999993% haircut
In 2015, Forbes topped its list of America's Richest Self-Made Women with Elizabeth Holmes at $4.5 billion. Theranos was valued at $9 billion. She was the youngest self-made…
Read more →💵 Dashboard ads on $61K–$160K BMWs · 70+ countries · through Aug 10
In 2023, BMW Group Senior Vice President Stephan Durach was asked whether the company would ever sell ads on its dashboard displays. He said: "To say I'm selling…
Read more →💸 $17.99/mo to watch early · free on YouTube 6 hours later
For decades, movie trailers were a subsidy — companies paid to show them to you. Rockstar just flipped the script. On August 27, "Grand Theft Auto VI: An…
Read more →💸 ~$100M market cap lost · logo reverted in 8 days · CEO out in 33 months
In August 2025, Cracker Barrel CEO Julie Masino did the unthinkable: she erased Uncle Herschel — the man in the rocking chair who'd been on the logo since…
Read more →💸 $1B breakup fee · Figma +48% revenue · Adobe ~10%
Figma just reported Q2. Revenue up 48%. Earnings per share doubled Wall Street's forecast. Net dollar retention: 136% — meaning existing customers spend more every quarter. Over 80%…
Read more →💸 SK Hynix -10.37% · Samsung -6.3% · Kospi -4.58%
SoftBank soared 13% on Wednesday. Financial Twitter declared AI the trade of the decade. Again. On Thursday, SK Hynix lost 10.37%. Samsung dropped 6.3%. The Kospi sank 4.58%…
Read more →💸 $18.4B capex in Q2 · $15.8B to AI · shares down 24% since IPO
SpaceX just filed its first earnings as a public company. Revenue beat expectations at $6.93 billion for Q2. Good news ends there. CNBC Capital spending hit $18.4 billion…
Read more →💸 $500B lost · 7 weeks since IPO · first earnings today
SpaceX went public on June 12, 2026. Seven weeks later, its market cap has fallen by roughly $500 billion — from IPO highs to Friday's close of $108.37.…
Read more →💸 $35.6M CEO pay · 360× median employee · drivers excluded
Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi received $35,595,826 in total compensation for fiscal year 2025, per Uber's DEF14A filing with the SEC on March 23, 2026. That's 360× the median…
Read more →💸 Claims: $710M · Reality: $12M · Gap: 98.3%
Andrew Tate called himself a trillionaire on a Twitch livestream with Adin Ross: "I became a trillionaire quite recently… the world's first trillionaire." Romanian authorities counted his verified…
Read more →💸 $34,000 stolen via hair dryer
A Polymarket user identified only as "xX25Xx" won approximately $34,000 by betting on Paris temperatures — and then allegedly walking to an unguarded weather sensor near Charles de…
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